For many parents, deciding when to send their child to preschool comes with a quiet tangle of emotions. You might feel unsure, overwhelmed, or even certain your child isn’t ready - yet still wonder if you’re missing something. What if your child misses something?

Preschool readiness can feel like a mysterious standard, shaped by pressure and timelines. But in reality, it’s far more individual - and far more human - than most checklists suggest. True readiness isn’t about age, early achievement, or independence in every area. It’s about whether your child has just enough of a foundation to begin separating from you, adapting to new routines, and navigating the company of other children with adult support. Developmentally, this means their social-emotional skills (SEL) - like being able to recover after a small upset, tolerate short separations, or express needs in basic ways - are emerging. These aren’t all-or-nothing skills; they sit on a spectrum and grow with gentle support.

Rather than fixating on whether your child can hold a pencil, speak clearly, or use the toilet, look for quieter signs: Are they beginning to show interest in other children, even from a distance? Can they manage transitions with the help of a familiar adult? Do they respond to co-regulation - like calming down when you hold them and name their feelings? These are early signs of self-regulation, a key part of being ready to engage in a group environment.

There’s also the idea of scaffolding - offering just enough support to help a child do what they cannot yet do alone. For example, a child who hesitates to join group play might participate if you narrate what others are doing or stay close while they watch. Preschool is not the destination for children who are already “ready,” but the setting in which children continue to become ready - with adult guidance tailored to their needs.

There’s no one right age to start. Earlier doesn’t mean better, and later doesn’t mean delayed. What matters is not when they start, but how they are supported when they do. Watching for signs of readiness - and gently building toward them - can help you create the conditions your child needs to take root and grow.